I Didn’t Hear A Thing

Sometimes my hearing loss injects into my otherwise iron-firsted grasp of reality and the world around me (shut up, Bill), ‘data’ which can, on the very rare occasion, not actually…well…exist.

Other times, it has this way of subjectively picking and choosing batches of information it deems worth maintaining, leaving Conscious Todd with that iron-fisted grasp of reality I just mentioned, rather on the wanting side.

As in the other evening when my pal Herzog swears (lies) that he did in fact yell, “Look out!” when he realized that the stack of fifteen black flower pots were on a certain trajectory with the back of my head. Apparently, right after we discovered the plastic flower pots lying next to the curb to be, without exception, the Funniest Thing In The World…he apparently thought that level of humor could be knocked off its high horse by throwing them over my head to land in front of me and scare the [not a nice word] out of me.

So there I was walking along, in full command of every faculty (lie), when all of a sudden Male Limbic Brain registers the following:

“The concrete would seem to be hurtling toward the face at an alarming speed. We suggest evasive maneuvers. As soon as possi—” [too late].

Here’s my illustrative take on the moment in time right before the headache I’d suffer for the next 36 hours announced itself. Which, I might add, was a lot louder and definitely more clear than Herzog’s insistence (lie) that he ever yelled “Look out!”