The Eyes Have It
After several weeks of looking down at my book, and then up at the chalkboard, I realized my vision was blurry and unable to focus as it had in the past. It took me several weeks to realize this wasn’t normal.
So. Glasses.
That was tenth grade and a lot of years ago.
After several weeks of looking down at my book, and then up at anything else, I realized my vision was again blurry and unable to focus as it had in the past. It took me several weeks to realize this also wasn’t normal.
So. To the eye doctor.
I have had this love-hate relationship with glasses for most of my life. They just annoy me. A nuisance to take care of, clean, lose, find, replace, etc.
I’ve several times floated the idea of the corrective surgery, but had that shot down in glorious defeat because, according to the kids, I “just wouldn’t look like dad without your glasses.”
That’s charming and endearing and all. I get it. But I’d like to see so can we please consider it anew? What’s more, when I think of myself, I never picture myself in glasses. Which is pretty intriguing considering I’ve worn them most of my life. I’ve no real explanation for that, except that I just don’t see spectacles on my face when I envision it. In fact (and this is starting to sound more like a psychotic split than anything else) whenever I look in the mirror and see the glasses, they sort of always surprise me.
Eye Doctor Boy does the test, measures this, measures that, tests here, tests there…even does that little burst of air in your eye to test for glaucoma. Not a fan, but I passed. Even better, I learned that half the reason I couldn’t figure things out with the Takes Glasses Off To Read, Puts Glasses Back On To See Distance was, in part, because my near-sightedness has actually improved.
“It’s what?”
“It’s gotten better. Not very common but it happens. The reason you’re eyes are feeling weird is because the lenses are over-correcting. You’re eyes are stronger than the were before.”
“So, what you’re saying is that I—”
“—don’t need as strong a prescription.”
“Oh. I was going to say ‘is because I have super powers.’”
“Super powers?”
“Well. Yeah. I sort of thought this was because I might have developed super powers.”
“Would you like super powers?”
“Dude. Who doesn’t, right?”
“Good point.”
So. Super powers. But apparently even us super heros get far-sighted as the years go by.
So. Bifocals.
All of this cracked me up, by the way. And I’ll keep laughing until I have to pick out new frames. Because Cute Redhead waited a full year since my former pair to tell me she never did like them.
*sigh
Oh! The Aging Dance…
(though you’re doing it quite well.)
Dude, the superpower you want has to do with eye sight? I can think of other super powers that would trump that!
AH,…well my friend the best part of being 44 may be that you have the body of 24, but your eyes are still closer to 50! Welcome to another part of the waltz…