Just You Wait
Where I grew up, St. Clair, Michigan, for the curious, we had a garden. A huge garden. And you know how when you travel back to the home of your youth and meet, once again, the things you knew as a child and wonder how space and time manages to shrink everything? Yeah, well this isn’t the case in the case of the garden I’m taking about. It really was as big in grown up eyes as it was in the eyes of a kid.
I certainly can’t posit anything like a love affair with that garden, though. If I was around it at all, it was to weed it, pick corn, or, come Autumn, scavenge it for rotten tomatoes to throw at my siblings (*joy). But somewhere in the past decade or two since leaving that part of the country, I found myself falling in love anew with gardening.
So. That photo above? Our garden. Dormant and mocking me with its barrenness. Mock, mock, mock. The railroad ties were put in several summers back and do a great job of bordering what I intend to be something award-winning this year. Because the last several years have been pallid, to put it bluntly. And it’s a pitiful shame because it gets perfect sun and all the water it needs thanks to the sprinkler system. That said, there’s really no excuse for letting it go to waste. Well, unless you consider the bind weed that’s choked out vegetables and a few poppies.
I hate bind weed (who doesn’t?), and this year I’ve a plan, thanks to Mother Jane (Cute Redhead’s mom) who is a master gardener who taught biology in Mississippi.
That’s a rendering of Mother Jane, and you better take that look seriously. It’s a look that can cook you under the table and name every scientific classification of plant and insect in the western hemisphere. And, truth be told, she’s very much my motivation for the garden. If you’re going to impress someone, make that someone a master gardener, I always say. What’s more, it was Mother Jane who I called several months back with my question about how to rejuvenate a plot of ground overgrown and neglected these many years.
“You need manure, Todd. And lots of it. But you need to kill that bind weed first. So, get a weed killer. But not until the temperatures there are at least 70˚ or it won’t work. A few days after that, maybe four days or so, dump as much manure as you can get there. And make sure it’s fresh. Go muck a barn.”
I’ve struck gold. Colorado has a lot of farms and I’ve contacted the owner of an alpaca ranch who tells me they’re in “constant production” of the stuff I need and that I’m welcome to as much as I can haul away. I can’t wait. Rule of thumb around these parts is that you never plant before May 10th. Be that as it may, I’ll have prepped the soil before that.
I think I’ll take Alpha Male and his compatriots and make a character-building venture out of it (thank you Parenting).
Watch this space, and just you wait: I’m planning a kitchen garden with all the classics…tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, corn (more for Autumn ornamentation than anything else) (I don’t have the space I need to see them germinate enough for the trouble), broccoli, carrots (you need to till deep for those suckers). I might even chance some onions. Oh, and watermelon and pumpkins too. Gotta have those and they’re hardy enough to start earlier than the others.
I dream of dark, rich loam, neat rows and a place to (brace yourself) enjoy one of my favorite outdoor things: weeding.
Oh, and remember the smoker?
Ran into it on my way back into the house. And found my missing boot, too.
That smoker hasn’t seen the last of me, I can tell you that right now.
(Good thing for it I don’t cook outside in the snow.)
TC, Joel Salatin would be so proud of you! You know that is MY career goal too, Blue Berry Farmer and Chair Lift opperator…that is when I know I will have arrived. Now, lets discuss the nutritional qualities of Alpaca poo versus, say, Holstien poo..any thoughts on that?
Oh, I thought Brocoli was hard to do, impressive. And the whole corn germination thing too. Also, does Mother Jane hire out, could she start a blog too, Waltzing in Alpaca Dung or something, one more thing can I borrow your ’tiller.
“Lets discuss the nutritional qualities of Alpaca poo versus, say, Holstien poo..any thoughts on that?” Yes, I think that you should come shovel it.
“One more thing can I borrow your ’tiller.” No.
Hey farmer Todd simma-don-naw, plants can sense hostility you know, plants are people too.
…they can be extra-terrestrials for all I care. You’re still not touching my tiller.
ROFLMAO, Oh dude its a good thing this is a family show…….
You two realize that phones work now too, right? And Todd, if you are in need of other types of “poo”, I raise chickens and horses.
Janet! Ooh! I DO want the poo! (ha ha that was funny)