Parliament is Displeased
Cute Redhead has been tolerant of me and The Rebel Force. I found her in a jovial and chirpy mood yesterday and decided a few snapshots were called for.
She actually started laughing at me while I took the photos.
And then she said, “Okay, that’s enough.”
And I didn’t think it was enough.
And then she said, “Okay, stop taking pictures of me.”
And I didn’t stop taking pictures of her.
And then she did the thing I actually find hilarious.
Here’s a picture of her, caught in the act.
I think this is hilarious because I’ve seen her do this a million times. This is what I call the Parliament is Displeased look. Which is actually a non-look look. Wherein our protagonist (Cute Redhead) has slipped into ignoring our antagonist (High Powered Man).
And I think it’s hilarious because she’ll actually put her hand up like that and pretend I don’t exist.
While I’m a foot and a half away from her.
Photographing her anyway.
Click. Click. Click.
And inside my head I’m going, “…3…2…1″
Until she goes:
“Dad-gummit!”
And then I start cracking up because that really is her Big Swear Word.
And that really is her Big Swear Word Look.
And the ONLY thing more fun than this is the thing I do every time she makes the bed up. I don’t know why I do this, I don’t know how it started and I don’t know why I get such fun out of it but I do. I think it’s because she still falls for it every time: when she stands up on the bed, grabs the sheet, the comforter and the other blanket and slaps them all Snap!Crack! into the air to shake them out and straighten them up. And if I’m in the room with her I’ll stop whatever I’m doing and help.
And by help I mean nothing like help at all. But you have to act like you’re helping or it’s not fun. And she falls for it. I’ll walk over to the bed and act all, “Oh here, let me help.” And she’ll be all, “Oh, great tha—STOP IT!”
Because I’ll have taken one end of the sheets or the comforter or the other blanket and just lightly held it. And as it falls in place, ever so gently guide it…right out of place. You really have to see this to appreciate it—and trust me, it really is stupid and I’m making it sound way more complicated than it is—but it’s just a form and a style of Looks Like Helping/Not Helping At All/Actually Making It Worse.
You know: marriage.
Lol I kill me!
But the BEST part of this (oh by the way, I was really tired 30 minutes ago and just drank an energy drink and for some reason all this seems to make sense inside my head right now so just come along) is when she goes all “Dad-gummit!” (and that really is her Big Swear Word) (how cute is that?) and then she’ll flash me that look and (not making this next part up) stand on the bed and kick me.
And then jump OFF the bed and (get this one) go all Tae Bo on me.
Because she does Tae Bo.
Which means if she’s ever cornered in a dark parking garage, whoever thinks they’re going to mug her is going to get their bony butt kicked.
That is, as long as there’s a soundtrack she can punch! kick! and JumpBackJumpBackJumpForward! to.
Which I make fun of.
Which displeases Parliament.
Oh, God! She DOES have patience with you. You and your new weapon: The Rebel Force is just…
But maybe, JUST MAYBE, you worth it (OK, sure you do.)