I Forgot To Remember
Do you know how many times I’ve tried to fix the stupid leaks that have tormented and taunted my already-feeble masculinity? Is there anything more lethal to the fragile Man Construct than a faucet bleeding his worth with each drip-drop-drip? For all its antagonism, I should have stayed around and watched its last moments.
Handyman Man stood in the bathtub (in view) and saw the living Hell out of tile and paint and drywall with Some Tool which I don’t know the name of but which I want (not in view). It had a blade as long as my arm and just about cut the house in half. I must get one of these.
The only thing being replaced in this bathroom, folks, is the tub and tile and fixtures. Everything else is good to go.
And that’s pretty much the end of the morning’s documentation of Bathroom Renovation Number 1 because I realized I was not going to get any work done with Giant Saw going and everything else bound to come after it. So I grabbed my laptop and got outta’ Dodge.
But not before Handyman Man explained to me where the leaking was coming from.
He pointed to the hole in the photo up top and said This and then said That and pointed Here and then pointed There. He talked about what had been leaking and what had (brace yourself home improvement aficionados) actually never been leaking at all.
“Um. What? What do you mean it’s never actually been leaking at all? Because I saw this faucet dripping all the time. And let’s not forget that the handles were turning the wrong way. And that the STOOPID hot water handle wouldn’t even shut off all the way. And wait…what about what’s been dripping down into the laundry room?! Dude—I know I’m not making this stuff up, so talk to me like I’m a two-year-old and walk me through this one.”
And then he did.
And then I understood.
I think.
All I know is that Male Limbic Brain deemed the stuff he was telling me Unnecessary Content and dumped it immediately. After which, High Powered Man left the house with bright eyes and happy happy happy thoughts and a sense of freeeEEEEEEeeeeedom! because Whatever It Was was getting fixed.
I couldn’t WAIT to tell Cute Redhead what the problem had been and how it was getting repaired. Which went like this later that evening when I came back:
Cute Redhead: “Well! They sure got busy on that today, didn’t they?”
Me: “Ha! They sure did! Woohoo!”
Cute Redhead: “Was it loud?”
Me: “No idea. I left.”
Cute Redhead: “I wonder what they found when they tore everything open.”
Me: *thinks* ” Got me. Oh wait! You know what?? Handyman Man told me! He told me what the leak was coming from! Yes!”
Cute Redhead: *gasp!* “And?? What was it?”
Me: “I don’t know. I don’t remember.”
Cute Redhead: “You don’t remember.”
Me: “Right. Don’t remember.”
Cute Redhead: “A ha.”
Me: “Well…that’s not entirely true. I mean, I don’t remember right now. But I did once! It’s just that after he explained it to me, I forgot to remember it. I had things to do.”
Cute Redhead: *stares*
Me: “…What?”
Then I went upstairs and looked in the bathroom.
“Hey, honey. The bathtub is missing.”
“Shut up, Todd.”
I am relieved on your behalf.
just keep swimming dora.
Thanks for that, Veronique! And Lady B…I like your style. The second bathroom was gutted today. There’s no turning back now.
I’m so relieved you hired someone! Thought you were gonna keep trying to do it yourself. (and yes, I’m reading a month and a half of WIP in one night. Expect more comments… I’m a Macco!)
Mike, not only did we hire someone, but both bathrooms are done! I couldn’t be happier. Cute Redhead is very please too. In spite of the twenty things she’d like to change. And then change back. And then change back again. *sob