Gravesland
You know those friends you have who just walk into a room and you start laughing?
That guy right up there? He’s one of them. That’s Jeff Graves and he and I met a long time ago through a great mutual friend of ours (MaryKay WHO I’D LINK YOU TO RIGHT NOW IF. SHE. HAD. A. BLOG.)
Jeff gets it. Jeff gets me. Therefore Jeff gets IT. He’s a great speaker, an incredible teacher, and can tell you stories out of scripture leaving you convinced he knows the Author (he does). He loves Pei Wei, movies, and music. And by ‘loves music,’ what I mean is this: we play this STOOPID game that he started several years ago. It went like this: He sent me a text of an obscure line from a song. I had to, of course, name the song.
I hate this game.
Not because I never guess the songs, because I do. Lots of times, in fact.
I hate this game because I have never stumped him once. Not. Once. He’s that good. He’s so good, in fact, that once he—well. Let me just put it this way: he worked backstage at the MTV Music Awards.
Yeah. You do the math.
Anyway, meet Jeff. My buddy and the first of the Waltzing in Perdition interviews coming your way.
1. Let’s get right into the meat of things, shall we? Tell us something about yourself either nobody knows or nobody would believe (and remember, the kids are listening)…
That’s a hard one…I’m a pretty open book. It would also depend on which circle of people I’m hanging with.
Um…
I have a tattoo
I can sing
I cry when appropriate (whether emotional or sentimental)
I have Tourettes Syndrome (not the swearin’ kind…that’s just me)
How’s that?
2. If you could go back in time to witness any one event, which would it be and why?
Not to get too deep too quickly…but I’d go back to the day Martin Luther King Jr. stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and delivered his “I Have A Dream” speech.
About 6 or 7 years ago I was heavily involved in a religious institution that really went overboard on it’s insistence that a godly life was one that had no grey areas (everything was black and white), choices you made were made with the express purpose of advancing the kingdom (where you eat, what you wear, who your friends are, what you talk about), and stressed that you missing any scheduled time for the gathering of the saints (Sunday a.m., Sunday p.m., Wednesday p.m…..pick 2 or 3 other days), meant you were obviously not serious about your relationship with your savior.
Where those sentences can be delivered in a number of ways, they were delivered in an accusatory tone that made you question every move you made.
Then I got ahold of a message that preached freedom. Freedom to understand that we (humans) are made from the dust of the ground. Freedom to pursue that ache in your heart that says “somethin’s just not right…I need to make a change”. Freedom to be encouraged, and be an encourager. Freedom to be able to start from where you are…not fix something supposedly broken, and then start over.
I began to hear the Gospel delivered as a “Hey! It’s ok. I get that you’re not perfect. Let’s figure you out together.” (red text on purpose) Instead of a corporate-meeting-bullet-point-presentation list of do’s and don’ts that never really answer the question on your lips and offer completely unattainable rules and regulations.
When I came to the realization that I was actually a slave to the master that lead this institution, I just had to break free.
It was then, I heard Martin Luther King Jr.’s words differently than I had ever heard them before.
“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”
Gospel believer or not.
“I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”
“And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”
I don’t for one minute think that my struggle was as hard or as abusive as the African-American community of the 60’s. Or that I can actually equate my master/slave relationship to that of the master/slave relationship in the cotton fields of Georgia not so long ago.
But this I do know: everyone deserves the right to find the savior on their terms. He’ll meet you right where you are. There is no condemnation. And how dare we, the community we call Christian, ever turn up our nose to someone in need.
3. Okay, now that you got the Publishable Answer out, which would it be really?
The day Elvis and Pricilla moved into Graceland.
4. Anybody you hate right now?
Nah. Overly annoyed with numerous types of Anybodies.
5. You have been given $10,000. You have 30 minutes to give it all away. What do you do?
Man, that’s hard. I’d give it to friends of mine that need it. Maybe 10 friends get 1k each. I love giving stuff to people .
6. Describe for us the perfect day for Jeff.
Probably awake from a great nights sleep (actual uninterrupted sleep)
Eat pancakes (I love pancakes)
Drink coffee (I have an affair with coffee)
Smell fresh air
Go to the beach with my wife (the quiet one…not the one with all the tourists…and she’d be happy about it)
Come home late afternoon to a flank steak, baked red potato and green salad dinner cooked by my Mom and Dad.
Hit a movie with the whole family
Watch something hilarious on tv before bed…
*clears throat
Fall asleep
7. Ginger or Maryanne?
Maryanne! Shah.
8. Martha or Mary Magdalene? (not so funny now, is it?)
Mary. She knows how to let it go and enjoy the moment.
9. You see two guys beating each other up. It’s pretty bad. Do you: A) Jump in to break it up, B) Call the police, or C) See if either sucker has an iPad they’re not watching and steal it right in front of God and everybody.
A) LOLOLOLOL
B) Hmmm
C) Um…no. See, Uncle Steve called and wants me to try out iPad v2 (the one with the camera)…so I video it and put it on YouTube with a tagline that says…“Look at this clarity!”
10. Alright, alright—enough tomfoolery! Tell our audience what it is you do. Don’t worry if it sounds boring. It is boring.
You mean work-wise? Actually it’s not boring. I do a few things. I’m the National Trainer for a company of independent reps that do book fairs in large corporations, hospitals, YMCA’s and other businesses.
I train these reps on how to run a successful book fair. Sounds weird…but conducting a book fair should really be like throwing a big party. With that, there’s computer systems to learn, display techniques to master and just plain business sense to acquire. I train them on all of that, and provide technical support to them when they hit a snag with their computers (which is often…repeat after me….Viiiiisssstttaa)
I also do creative work for this same company. Newsletters, video direction and production, create marketing materials, produce training videos and stuff like that.
Oh, and I’m a licensed and credentialed Pastor that teaches at my church. I officiate weddings. Co-lead a regional mens ministry…and….wait for it…sell swords.
All of this from the comfort of my home office in my garage under the glow of a 24 inch iMac blaring “Club Tropicana” by Wham!.
11. And a bit about your blog, Gravesland? Let’s say you have just stepped into the elevator with Ellen. You have twenty stories up until she gets off and she wants to know what you’re going off about. Chances she mentions it on her show are high. Go.
Well, Ellen, Just like my friend Todd started…it’s the idea of a blog that intrigues me more than actually executing it. (floor 2) He’s managed to stay consistent. Me? Not so much.
(floor 5) But, currently, I’m going off on the idiocy of people in airports.
(floor 9) I’m amazed at the complete lack of respect people have of others (floor 11) around them…and mostly annoyed by personalities (floor 15) that are different than mine. (floor 17).
I try (18) to find humor in it all, but mostly (19) they all just rub me the wrong way…
*Ding (20)…andIlovethewayyoudanceonyourshow!!!!!!!!!
“Please welcome my first guest…completely annoyed with anyone but himself, Pastor Jeff Graves…..”
12. You have a chance to win a roundtrip ticket anywhere in the world. But. You have to fly in First Class. There and back. With your mother-in-law. Naked. Where do you go?
First, who’s naked? Me, or my Mother-In-Law?
Me naked, big whoop…I’d take first class to London Baby!
Her naked, first class, close door, back up jet way, put jet way back, open door.
13. You get to take away one thing from every American for one hour. No one will die or anything like that. What do you take and why?
As much as a technical geek I am, I am more than willing to turn it all (phones, computers, tv’s, music) off for an hour. I know it will completely freak people out…but hey…it will all be ok.
Even in my love for all things gadgety…I get tired of them and need a break.
14. Here it comes: the super power question. Let’s hear it.
Ooooohhhh…I would fly. It just seems cool.
15. What was the last book you read.
I’m reading a few…(which I hate to do)…and have a couple on deck.
Love and War – Eldrege
Have a Little Faith – Albom
Narcissistic Leaders – Maccoby
The 4 Hour Work Week (updated and extended version) – Ferris
16. What did you want to be when you were twelve?
An entertainer/rock star/comedian.
17. After question 16, how depressed are you right now?
Not depressed at all. I did the rock star thing in the 80’s, I get to entertain when I train people. And, I get to use the same jokes over and over and over again with each new training class.
18. Name what you think is one of your best qualities. And don’t act humble with me, Graves, because I will out you so fast it’ll knock your name right out of the phonebook.
I’m brutally honest with people. Some (the woman he gave me) think it’s just rude…but I don’t. And some actually have thanked me after I’ve said “You really want to know what I think? Ok…here we go…”
And, I’m friggin funny.
19. Last one: you’re on your deathbed. It’s been a fascinating life and people all over the world are racing to your side. How many women are fighting each other because they just found out your someone else’s husband too?
“Someone else’s husband too”? None. But many women would be there to tell me how much they wished they had snagged me first, before the one that snagged me 24 years ago. And they would tell me how their lives were just not as complete as they could have been had they realized years earlier what they were missing.
LOLOL HA, I kill me!
Actually they would be running to my wifes side to sing “Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty…she’s free at last.”
(that’s called a “call back” people!)
Hmmm. Now send questions 1, 15 and 18 to people who REALLY know Jeff. THAT would be a fun article.
So, did you learn anything new? I did!!
Love it!
Great interview. It gave me more insight into a man I know so little about.