Serving The Song
I learned a long time ago (and I still believe it) that the most treasured thing you can give a person is your friends. So if this interview with my great friend, Betsy, lands in any of you something like a new friendship…well, I’ll be happy.
Betsy and I go back over twenty years. We’re both artists and, as such, get each other on a lot of levels. Music moves into, over, and through her the way other mediums move into, over and through me. That’s probably why I seek out her artistic vantage point and trust it more than others.
And can she sing? Let me put it this way…I consider the very first time our dear friend Korey introduced me to her vocals the very first time I considered my own talents flat out boring.
She is a true inspiration to me on more levels than I can describe. So—welcome back to the WiP Mic, grab your coffee and enjoy a few minutes with one of my favorites. And when you’re done, crank up the speakers and listen to Lady B give us what for.
1. List four different ways or roles by which people know you — and you can’t say ‘singer’ (too easy and we’ll get to that later).
A lover. A fighter. A do-er. A giver.
2. If you wanted people to know you as only one of those, which one and why?
A lover…..because that’s all that really matters.
3. Do you have any superstitions?
Nope.
4. Ocean or mountains?
I love them both but if i haaaad to pick it would be water all day baby!
5. You get to spend one whole day with any person past or present, living or dead. Who is it and what do you do?
My birth father. I’d introduce myself, give him a shot of tequilla to help him get over the shock, ask some questions, hopefully get some answers, and hear his side of the story.
6. Alright, a few on music. Betsy ‘the singer’ is the easy one. Does it ever bother you being identified with that?
No, not really. what bothers me is when someone doesn’t acknowledge me until I become Betsy ‘the singer’ and then all of a sudden, I’m somebody they want to talk to or work with. I know we all have a tendency to do that with each other but there’s more to all of us than one dimension.
7. Describe the perfect gig.
Last year, my daughter asked me to write her a song for her 10th birthday. She thought I had forgotten or didn’t have time to work on anything. But I did. Once the party-goers had all gone home and the house was picked up, I brought her to the piano and in the quiet of the late night, I sung to her. she cried. I cried. daddy cried. Brother fell asleep on the couch and could’ve cared less. To me, there are no perfect gigs, only perfect moments where you somehow find a way to get out of the way and serve the song.
8. Tell us about the first time YOU realized and believed you had a musical gift.
Yeah, I don’t really know. I mean, music has always felt more like an appendage than a gift. It’s always been there. It’s what helps me breathe. Early on I knew that singing and playing the piano made me feel better and eventually, I discovered, that when I did it for others, it made them feel better too.
9. Does anything about your talent scare you?
Hahhhhh! Yes. All of it. Despite the fact that I present as confident, the truth is, insecurity runs rampant among artists. Vulnerability just comes with the territory. In order to sing or write a song that means something, you have to connect with feelings and experiences that are not always easy or comfortable.
10. Would you trade singing and song writing for anything else?
Guh, you are sooooo dinner theater…..why must you always be so dramatic? (HEY! lol) Outside of saving someone’s life, no.
11. Tell us something you’ve learned about being married you never expected.
Oh geez, here you go lol.
I have had the fairy tale…anyone who knows us, knows this. Bruce and I have been married for 17 years (18 in july– this is important to anyone married because we all know that every single day in ‘this beautiful Hell’ counts). We fell in love hard and fast. What I never expected was that there might actually come a time where it wasn’t easy. sounds naiive I know, but after being so good for so long I thought, ‘we got this’! There came a point when I realized that, like everyone else in the world, we had to start working for what mattered.
I have learned two things about being married. The first is that the daily grind is where the love settles. It’s when my husband gets up with the kids or when he makes the coffee or holds my hand that I see he’s still in this. Similar to the ‘perfect gig’ question, it’s in the small moments that I see and know we’re going to make it. The second is that you don’t get to quit. you might feel like quitting, you might not like what’s happening, but you have to press on….you promised you would…..and in doing so, you reap the benefits like you would from weathering a storm, practicing the piano, seeing a project to completion. if you jump ship, chances are, you’ll drown. If you stay the course, you’ll get there. It might take awhile, but you’ll get there.
12. What about being a parent?
Good lord. I never expected to be THAT interested in the poop of another human being, to ever be THAT tired, or to ever fall THAT much in love at first sight. Having been adopted, giving birth and being a parent has certainly stirred up some things for me, but more than anything, it has helped me to reconcile my past and bring my focus clearly to the present moment. In many ways, when I gave birth to my children I gave birth to myself. It was like going from black and white to color, from analog to HD….life has become sweeter, richer, clearer, harder, easier…more. More of everything.
13. The Lottery Question: You’ve won 150 Million dollars. What do you do now?
-the happy dance.
-pray for wisdom.
-turn off the phone.
-tell my husband’s employer to ‘take this job and shove it’.
-take the fam to Glenwood and soak in the hot springs so I can just think for a flippin’ minute
-get my ‘financial-advisor-wannabe-hat’ on and do my thing (pay debts, invest, help relatives and others, etc)
-buy a farm house in South Dakota with a wrap around porch, a loft in New York, a beach house in Florida, and a casa in Mexico.
-make music (repeat)
I read a brilliant quote about this a long time ago but i can’t remember who said it….’money doesn’t change you, it just makes you more of what you already are.’ I’m guessing that’s probably true.
14. The Dinner Table Question: Big table, four guests, no holds barred. Who and why?
Easy….. Bruce. Selah. Zion. And me. Because at the end of the day, family dinner is where all that is wrong with the world is made right, and all that is right with the world is sitting in front of me. But as an aside, if it really is a big table as you say, then we can always fit extras…which we often do. So then i’d have to say, the extra spots would be filled with any number of real friends and family…who bring wine.
15. Better Dinner Table Question: Small table, one guest, no holds barred.
This might sound silly, but I think my ‘guest’ would be a great book. I don’t have nearly the time i used to for reading. I’d love to sit at a beautiful table, with amazing food, a beverage, and uninterrupted time to enjoy getting lost in a story.
16. Name one thing that genuinely makes you happy.
Lazy sundays with the fam.
17. And one thing that genuinely scares you?
Any harm coming to my children.
18. Anyone you miss right now?
I grew up with 3 older brothers (feel free to feel sorry for me anytime now) and I miss not having them in my daily life.
19. Favorite book as a child.
‘Where The Wild Things Are’ -Maurice Sendak and ‘Mike Mulligan And His Steam Shovel Marryann’ -Virginia Lee Burton
20. Something about you nobody knows. (Don’t panic. Like this: when I’m alone? 9 times out of 10, I’m singing.) Go.
But everybody knows that’s what you do. (Very funny) Sigh. Ok. I talk to myself. I mean conversationally. My husband worries, but I’ve assured him it’s what keeps me from becoming the unibomber. There, I said it, now leave me alone.
21. You get one hour with your least favorite political figure. You get to ask anything you want and you’re guaranteed straight un-spun answers. But…you never get to repeat or publicize any of it. Still interested? Who and why?
The list is too long, there is no such thing as an un-spun answer, and you and I are are finally in a ‘politically nice’ holding pattern so I’m not going to play this one. Nice try. (Hadatakeashot)
22. Something about yourself you really do like.
I like to laugh, (mostly at myself)…I think that’s a good thing.
23. And (big shock coming here) something about yourself you really wish you could change.
Sometimes I can get a little dark and twisty, I think a little too much.
24. Last question…your next CD. What can you tell us?
I have done a lot of work in the background for the last several years (singing, writing, arranging, recording), and have really enjoyed doing so, but it’s time to get back out front. I can tell you that I feel like I’m onto something, you know? Finally feel like I have something to say in a way that I feel really good about. While I’ve recorded and written a lot the past few years, it’s been almost 15 years since I’ve done my own project. I’m excited to get to the point where people can actually put these songs in their iTodd, i mean ipod, and go. (No, you were right. It’s ‘iTodd’)
If you like Amos Lee, Erykah Badu, Chrisette Michelle, Allison Krauss, Jill Scott, Joni Mitchell, Laylah Hathaway, Ledisi, or Dakota Staton, then you might like my work. if you like Bonnie Raiit, Bruce Springsteen, Mint Condition, The Who, Tuck & Patti, Koko Taylor, Raoul Midon, Nancy Wilson, or the Doobie Brothers, you might like my work. if you like Patti Labelle, Dylan, Sade, Kim Burrell, or Petite Blonde, you might like my work. My influences are vast, eclectic, and are often hidden in the shadows of what I write and sing.I’ve been asked time and time again to describe my music and my sound. I think it sounds different to each listener. I am a singer-songwriter with a soulful bent. Beyond that, I leave the labeling and marketing to others who find that kind of thing important.
All I really know for sure is that my season is not over. People are afraid of their age, afraid to speak their age in this line of work…I know the music biz loves youth so I get it, but I’ve earned every one of my years and I’m not ashamed. I might be a wife, a mother, and a woman of 43, but when I’m singing my own work or work that I’ve collaborated on, I’m just me…that’s something I think a lot of women, mothers in particular, have to work hard to find again and hold on to.
I believe my season, like spring, has just begun.
Fatherwejuss pray that Bets, Todd and Jeff are never in the same room together.
Because, it may just implode from the over abundance of charisma!
Amen.
Great interview! Love to hear your beautiful voice my friend!
you are my hero!! It’s been too long since i’ve heard your God-given gift!!! I love you, my friend, my sister, my roomie…
Aw yeah! That’s my grrll! So happy to see you singing lead!
And why didn’t you tell us about this vid? You not right!
New project under way, we have to connect. Holla Back.